I have a gift for you, open the box is all you have to do.

Inside the box is all you need, for a parent to succeed.

Succeed in raising a child perfect and whole, whole in mind, body and soul.

This box is pretty and shiny, complete with what to do when a child is whiny.

Never before has a box been so complete, this parent in a box can’t be beat!

If one could put all that was needed to be a great parent into a box for all new parents, what would it include? Nutritional information, health concerns answered, allergies, immunization requirements, school information, appropriate gift lists for all ages, how to deal with newborns, toddlers, school age and teenagers cheat sheets. Just what would it include?

That really is a difficult question to answer as each parent is widely unique and they tend to have children rather unique from each other in the family let alone the neighborhood. How would you have a box that could meet the needs to such a specific consideration. The answer may be best found in the general rather than the specific.

The first thing that I would include in this box in a rather general way:

LOVE. Each child needs love and more specifically, unconditional love. This is love for when they are keeping you up at night as newborns or as teenagers. Love when they are sick with a common ailment or with a life threatening condition. Love when they learn their first words, when they love one particular word and repeat it endlessly and love when their words only come out in angry bursts. Love when they take their first steps, love when they go to their first day of school, love when they drive away with their new license or off to their first year of college. Love when they love you the most and when you embarrass them the most. Love no matter what.

NUTURE. Each child needs to be nurtured. They need someone to talk babytalk to them, cuddle them and teach them the very basics of their lives. They need their parents to nurture them when they begin to meet friends and find out that not everyone is the same. They need to be nurtured when they find out that some people in this world do not love them as much as their parents do. They need to be nurtured when they are about to make those decisions about life, love and their future.

DISCIPLINE and BOUNDARIES. Each child needs to know that there are boundaries that they can’t cross and what will happen when they do. Each child needs to know that these boundaries are based on their best interest, not the mixed up messages we may have received from our own parents. Children need to know and accept that every decision we make has consequences, whether they are positive or negative. Each child needs to know that no one is perfect, that is why boundaries and discipline are necessary not only for a child but for an adult.

BALANCE. Each child needs to have balance in their lives. Too much of any one thing can be too much. Too many gifts for Christmas or birthdays can lead the child to believe that material objects are the best way to show love. Too many times a parent gives in when a child wants to do something they really shouldn’t. Too many times they are given excuses instead of owning up to what they have done. Balancing the good with the bad (at least from the child’s perspective) is necessary to ensure they have a realistic view of life.

FUN MEMORIES. Each child needs to be filled with fun memories with their family. The memories can be as simple as collecting sea shells at the beach or going to a fossil park and collecting tracings of fossils. Memories can be of favorite holidays, families gathered, favorite dishes, funny jokes, family hugs and anything else that has allowed your child to feel special, wanted, loved and cherished.

FORGIVENESS. Each child needs to feel forgiveness from their parents when they have done something wrong. Each child needs to be asked to forgive the parents when the parents have done something wrong to the child. What comes around, goes around. It seems forgiveness takes the most time to go around.

ACCEPTANCE. Each child needs to be accepted for who they are now and what they are going to be. If they are overweight versus average weight, plain looking versus beautiful, athletic versus academic, doctor versus nurse, sick versus healthy; no matter what they are or who they will be they need to know that they will be accepted by you no matter what.

The list of what could go into this tailor made box could go on and on. You could spend days and weeks trying to conform it to each and every parent and each and every child. But why would we need too! By following the generality you will find the specifics needed for each child. There is no tailor made parenting box, just as there is no tailor made parent.